Q&A with Valerie Boas, our expert on gender-based violence
Valerie Boas shares with us her experience and advices on how to prevent gender-based violence
Sometimes people tend to reduce gender-based violence to domestic violence, which happens mostly behind closed doors. In fact, more and more of this kind of violence takes place in shared spaces: online violence, for instance. Cyberbullying is growing extremely rapidly as a result of the extensive use of social media by teenagers and young adults. And girls and young women tend to be the most frequent victims.
Street-based violence is another example of violence taking place in the public space. Even if the #metoo movement has raised awareness around the world about this issue, it still exists and it is still worth fighting for.
It is important to recognize that sexual harassment, as well as any type of gender-based violence, never happens overnight. In fact, it is a gradual process, where perpetrators become increasingly entitled and feel they have the freedom to perform wrongful acts. Gender-based violence generally takes place because sexism has developed. Therefore, prevention, and zero tolerance for sexism are the best answers.
In terms of things to do on an individual level, I personally like the no-frills, 3-step answer that the Council of Europe has outlined to fight sexism: « 1. See it. 2. Name it. 2. Stop it ». This means that every time you see sexism, even in the form of a joke, a comment, however meaningless it may seem, you should notice it, even if you do so only for yourself.
Then you should name it, call it by its name. Things that you do not put a word on, often go unnoticed. Therefore it is crucial to call things by their names. If you witness a sexist behavior, whether performed by a colleague or by yourself (yes, it does happen), you should simply say it: « I think what I just said was sexist, sorry » or « I think this is inappropriate, it is sexism, you should apologize ».
And then, of course, you should stop it, using the tools available in your context. Most countries have hotlines and platforms where you can report acts of violence. If things happen at work, dropping an e-mail to HR or just expressing support to the victim are simple steps that can be really powerful.
Allies are simply people - especially men- who are not directly victims of gender-based violence and who express their support to victims of such violence. Their role is essential: research consistently shows that women are much more vulnerable to aggressions of all kinds without the support of men.
Allies can provide support in a number of ways. They can just be there for victims: listen to a colleague, without interrupting them as they share their emotions after an incident for instance is hugely important. Practicing active listening, not interrupting the person, rephrasing… all of this can help. Allies can also simply confirm that they believe the victim. Just saying « I trust you » can go a long way.
Depending on the circumstances, allies can also step in, to take the side of victims: asking questions to someone who is telling a sexist joke, expressing concerns that sexism might be at play and pointing. In fact, calling things by their names every time you are a direct witness of violence makes you an ally. And an ally can save lives.
Thankfully there are many such examples or companies that were able to transform themselves over time. As we have seen in recent months, the more an institution closes itself from the rest of the world, the more it is at risk of experiencing violence- think of a school like Sciences-Po or Centrale Supélec in France, or Stanford in the US. Opening its doors and welcoming diversity is the most efficient way to prevent violence, and ultimately to end it.
Valerie Boas
Valerie Boas is an author and a coach specialised in gender issues, diversity and inclusion and finance. She also teaches and provides training to various schools and companies. A Gloria expert since 2019, Valerie has more than 25 years of experience working with large corporations in Europe, the US and Asia. She is a graduate from Sciences-Po and holds an MBA from Insead.
